People often ask me, "is there a common theme among all the coaching you do?” and after almost three years of presentation coaching I can undoubtedly say, "Yes, I have to teach all my clients to breathe." I know it probably sounds odd, but it is true. Since breathing is an involuntary process, yet one crucial to life, most of us breathes in a way that allows us to function. But at what level are you functioning? How efficient are you in each task you take on? Breath is the foundation for life, hence the quote from Pericles. And yes, we all know how to breathe, but most of us are not breathing efficiently--we are either taking shallow catch breaths in our upper register (meaning quick breaths that don't sink down into the lower abdomen.) Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, many of us actually spend a fair amount of time holding our breath.
One of the challenges I give to each of my clients, and to myself, is to see how they are breathing. I often catch myself literally holding my breath; I even hold my breath when I put a sweater over my head--like I was going under water. (Crazy, but true...) I also have noted that I hold my breath before I want to speak a big idea on a conference call. So when I do say it --it comes out in a rush, and it is nowhere near as articulate than if I had allowed myself to breathe before hand and connect fully to my thoughts. I also tend to hold my breath when I am getting upset, again leading me into a less articulate mode of communication. I have observed many clients doing the same thing. Another issue for poor breathing is trying to say too much on one breath--believing if we stopped to breathe--someone might interrupt us. (And in some corporate cultures this is true--so the problem has deeper roots...) Many people find a pause to be intimidating, the thought being, "if I stop to breathe, people will stop listening to me." And yet in most cases nothing could be farther from the truth. Pauses often lead people in to listen to what you have to say, and a pause also gives your listeners a chance to digest your previous content. When you breathe, it's a win-win situation.
But how do I breathe? There is a very simple answer to this, but as with most things having to do with old habits, it's simple, and not necessarily easy. Try this, it's called the "whispered ah" and it was taught to me by one of my most influential mentors, Jim Hancock. First, check out how you breathe on a regular basis, if your shoulders rise up on the inhalation, it isn't deep enough. This time, take in another breath through your nose, and think about actively dropping it down into your belly, when you release it, gently say the word 'ah'. I often ask my clients to visualize a baby in the cradle, how their bellies rise and fall so beautifully. Nothing is inhibiting their breath. You can do this too, only after so many years of physical and psychological habits, it may take some effort to get back to that ease.
If you want, you can try this exercise on your back. So, breathe in through your nose, and think it down, all the way to your pelvis if you want. (Though technically speaking breath doesn't reach down there, by thinking it, you do lower it, into your lungs, back and use your diaphragm more fully.) Now release again on a gentle 'ah.' See how far you are releasing your jaw, is it fairly held? For most it is, so with the next breath, gently press your jaw down and away from your upper teeth, as you say 'ah.' Next, try it sitting up, try it anywhere you happen to be, you can make the 'ah' vocal, or as the name implies you can whisper it. This type of breathing can be done anywhere, and no one will know what you're up to, but you will feel more at ease, for some at first, even dizzy, because it is more breath than you have been allowing yourself. Ultimately, you will experience an ease you have not had in a long while
If you take the time to hone in on your breathing, it is my belief you get to the foundation of all awareness, meaning, if you can tap into this unconscious and involuntary process, it begins to open you up to all else that is occurring around you...your heart rate lowers, you take more time to look into your listeners' eyes, you catch their reactions, you react less intensely to the many thoughts that may be whipping through your mind, you access vocabulary more quickly, and you smile more easily, and a smile speaks volumes--it allows your passion to pass on to your audience in the most delightful way.
